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WOMEN OVER 40
(Andy Rooney)
Andy Rooney says, "As I grow in age, I value women
who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A
woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are
you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40
doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it.
She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more
interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in
who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the
age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you
at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if
you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away
with it.
Women over 40 are generous with praise, often undeserved.
They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 40 has the
self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with
a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy
with other women.
Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're
attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 40. They always know.
A woman over 40 looks good
wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag
queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier
than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and
honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like
one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we
praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not
reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize…...ANDY ROONEY
Submitted by
Captain Seabaugh (CO 1963-66)
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HOW TO STAY YOUNG
(George Carlin)
- Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
- Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull down.
- Keep learning. Learn more about the computer , crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop. And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
- Enjoy the simple things.
- Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
- The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
- Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
- Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
- Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next country, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
- Tell people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER ...Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Submitted by Ron Hnatovic (EMC--1965-66)
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GOOD, BETTER AND BEST
IN THE WISCONSIN POLICE DEPARTMENT
GOOD
A Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucketful of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in La Crosse, WI. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
BEST
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As Wisconsin State Trooper Officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball. " He replied, "Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.
Submitted by Bert McGavock (MM--1962-66)
Submitted by Marion Goble (BT--1963-66)
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